I wanted to share with you all a dream I had.
It’s one of my favorite dreams (if that’s a thing). But I need to give you a little background first.
This won’t be a long post, but it’s one I wanted to share on a day that has meaning to me, as a constant reminder to hug your loved ones and tell them how much they mean to you. Cliche, I know. But we could all use a reminder from time to time.
My Friend Dani
I met Dani back in December of 2012. She worked at a lounge that I frequented often and she was instantly someone that I became friends with. Just months before this, my ex and I had separated and we were well along the way to finalizing our divorce. Life was just starting to unravel for me. I had no idea what the next 6 months of my life was going to look like. I was in for finalizing my divorce, losing my business, finding out my best friend was with my ex-wife, and dealing with custody over Kailyn.
In comes Dani at a time when I didn’t even realize I needed another friend. Now, I would never call Dani and I best friends. But, friends we were. It’s funny how people seem to get placed in my life right at the “right” time. She was that friend and will ALWAYS remembered to call/text me on morning of my court dates. She was always happy to see me and on the occasion when she didn’t have to work, it was always a pleasure to spend some time with her and friends.
Dani had such a great sense of humor. She was the life of the party. She always made me laugh.
My Last Trip
When I heard she was battling cancer, she had already moved to San Diego to live with her boyfriend Mike. Even then, we still texted and talked from afar. When she’d come to Vegas to visit, we’d try and meet up but that wasn’t always possible. I would try and meet up with her when I was in San Diego also.
A few weeks before she passed away, I was going to be in San Diego to see a friend DJ. I asked Dani if she wanted to meet up for drinks or some food while I was there. She said that the treatment was pretty brutal and she didn’t feel up for it. I told her no worries, and I’d catch up with her next time I was back . . . which was going to be in a few weeks. Little did I know there wouldn’t be a next time. That was October 19th, 2016.
I had no idea how far along the cancer had gotten or I would have gone to her house to see her, although I’m not sure I would have been invited. There’s a part of me that’s grateful that I talked to her on text/phone and never saw how the cancer got to her.
This was our last photo together before she moved to SD and this is how I’ll always remember her.
Today’s The Day
Friday, October 28th, 2016. Here was her obituary.
It was three years ago today, on October 28th, 2016 that Dani passed away and whenever this day pops up on my calendar, I get a heavy feeling in my chest and a sadness overcomes me.
In writing this blog, I combed through all of the old text messages, photos, facebook posts, etc. that I could find. It’s so sad to think about.
And it reminds me of that dream I had.
When I realized that she was sick, I wrote her a song. I sent it to her while she was in the hospital and she said “she loved it”. I’m glad she got to listen to it and hopefully it gave her a little comfort.
If you’re interested, here’s a link to the song on Spotify:
And here is the link of me playing it live I posted for Dani:
My Story: The Dream
So finally to my story!
One of my biggest regrets is not being able to have “closure” or to be able to say goodbye to my friend. When I heard she passed, it was honestly one of the saddest days of my life. I didn’t think it would affect me as much as it did, but I was really sad. I’ve had friends pass before, but this affected me deeply.
The day after she passed, I had a dream. It was the most vivid dream. I can still visualize it so clearly.
I was walking into this amusement park that was on a green, hilly area. It was a mix between a hilly field with flowers, and a Six Flags. Strange.
I entered the park and immediately saw Dani and said, “Dani, what are you doing here? I thought you passed away?”
She replied, “I did, but before I go I thought maybe we could just hang out here for the day.”
And we did.
There’s nothing specific about our hang out except to say that it felt like it lasted a long time in my dream. Like a real hangout. Then at the end hugged her and told her I was going to miss her and she said the same. I told her to come back for a visit sometime, and she promised me she would. But she hasn’t come back just yet.
I know that it was my subconscious trying to close out a loose end, but I prefer to think it was her saying goodbye. She was pretty stubborn and if she wanted to say goodbye, I don’t think she would have left before saying so.
I hope Dani found peace. I know she was in pain towards the end and I’m glad that part is over. She’s remembered by so many people that sometimes I pop onto your FB account to see people still leaving her messages.
Life’s short. Hug those you love and tell them how much you love them. I’m just glad I got that one last hang-out in my dream.
Miss you Dani!
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